


Not broken

by Lyndis



Series: Ex-slave Neil series [1]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dubious Consent to Consent, First Time, M/M, Mention of Past Abuse, POV Andrew Minyard, Past Abuse, Smut, Soft Ending, andrew as ichirous come to guy for difficult jobs, andrew killed riko, andrew showing neil how to jerk off, ex-slave!neil, jerking off, kind of, neil has a lot of trauma, slave trainer!kevin, tender andrew, wet dreams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:53:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29273535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyndis/pseuds/Lyndis
Summary: After killing Riko, Andrew was gifted a house and money. That had been the deal. What hadn't been the deal was getting a slave trainer and a slave on top of that. He now has to handle Kevin not understanding how you could free a slave from his position, and Neil, a now ex-slave who can't let go of the horrifying rules that were tortured into him.On a very bad day, Andrew has to take care of Neil's body reacting to a particularly good dream.
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Series: Ex-slave Neil series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2149794
Comments: 11
Kudos: 105





	Not broken

**Author's Note:**

> I found a beta!  
> [Lauravg_20](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lauravg_20/pseuds/Lauravg_20) you are amazing and I am so happy you are helping me!
> 
> This is from a kind if weird dream I had. Of course I fleshed it out some more, because dreams never make a lot of sense when you wake up.
> 
> I added this to a series, because it probably will be at some point. I don't know yet, but now you can subscribe to it and keep up to date, if you want.
> 
> Please see the tags for content warnings.
> 
> Additional might be: Past starving, past very lightly implied rape, past torture, mention of murder

When the Moriyamas came, the country was in pieces. With the promise of wealth and safety, they quickly rose to the top, replacing an overstrained government.

With them came slavery. A necessity, in their opinion, to ensure the wealth of everyone else. Families in debt or with unwanted children could ‘donate’ them, and as promised, after a couple of years, the country began to prosper.

That was over 40 years ago now. Andrew had been lucky not to be sold as a slave, when he was born, instead he was given to the Spears, which wasn’t that much better, but at least he had been free, had been allowed to be himself instead of something others wanted him to be.

That had been the reason he had been able to place himself in Ichirou’s favor - the future heir of the Moriyama lordship. When he couldn’t bear Drake anymore, when staying with the family that kept him safe from slavery took a higher toll than he was able to bear, he wrote to Ichirou, telling him he would take care of his unwanted brother for him. It had been a longshot, but it worked. A few years later, after getting the proper training and education, he had held up his side of the deal and killed Riko. As thanks he got a house, a small fortune and… Kevin and Neil. The last two weren’t things he had asked for, but because he did such a great job, Ichirou had been especially thankful and gave him Riko’s most prized possessions. He now would run errands for Ichirou sometimes, but besides that he was completely free. As long as he didn’t do something stupid, like working against Ichirou, he was safe and free and his small family was, too.

Aaron and Nicky lived with him in the big house, filling it up enough to not let it feel empty. Neil and Kevin were… well. They lived with them, too. Apart from one another, though, because Kevin was raised as a trainer for slaves and Neil had been a slave. It was a miracle if the both of them could stand being in the same room together.

Andrew didn’t approve of slavery - the time with Drake had been enough to give him a pretty good picture of what being a slave entailed - so Neil lived with them as a free man. Kevin didn’t understand in the slightest and even Nicky had problems sometimes, treating Neil like a human being. Nicky was raised in a really conservative family who owned several slaves and so he was so used to treating them differently he slipped up more often than not. The hungry looks he sent Neil far too frequently didn’t help either.

Aaron hated slaves with a passion, which left only Andrew to take care of this particular addition to their family. And taking care of him he needed.

Given to the Moriyamas at age 8 meant Neil couldn’t really remember not being a slave. Twenty years of training did the rest. When he first saw him, Andrew feared the young man was broken beyond repair, but months working with him had shown that Neil was a lot, but not broken. On very good days he even was able to stand up to Kevin. Roasting him with a tongue as sharp as a razor. It sent Andrew’s heart racing every time.

But twenty years of rules that were tortured into him, made these days very rare. Andrew remembered the second day Neil was living there. He walked around naked because he hadn’t been sure he was allowed clothes. Neil didn’t eat, except when you nearly forced him to. The first couple of days they all thought he just had to acclimate to them a bit. It had turned out that he had been punished every time he ate without very explicit permission. Andrew wished he had killed Riko slower, every time another of Neil’s ‘rules’ came up. They broke the rules one at a time with him. Working from the most urgent ones backwards. It was a very, very long process, but at least Neil was some kind of viable now.

Not on bad days, though. On bad days a lot of the rules were back or a new rule rose to the surface, that fucked up a lot of the previous process for a while.

When Neil wasn’t up at noon, Andrew knew something wasn’t right. So he walked to his room and knocked softly.

“Neil?”

“I’m fine.”

Yeah, as if that ever was a valid answer with this idiot. When Neil had swayed and nearly fell unconscious in front of them from hunger, he had said exactly the same.

“I want to come into your room. Yes or no?”

“Yes.”

The answer came too quickly and Andrew hated it. He wished that Neil would tell him ‘no’. He wished it every damn time, but he wouldn’t. Neil wasn’t able to, yet.

Andrew opened the door slowly, hoping Neil would change his mind for once but wasn’t surprised when he didn’t.

Neil was sitting in his bed, slightly flushed and trembling. His sheet draped over his lap and legs, his torso on full display. Neil slept naked. One of the rules too low on their priority list to fix yet and something Andrew hated, too, very much. Neil felt only safe in wide clothes which hid his body completely. It couldn’t be comfortable for him to sleep without them, only a blanket between him and potential predators. Andrew knew the feeling.

Asking Neil if he was sick wouldn’t do much good, so Andrew stepped to the bedside instead.

“I want to touch your forehead to see if you have a fever. Yes or no?”

“Yes”, Neil answered again, but his voice started to seem strained. There were only two words so far. That was a new low.

Neil was a bit warm but not warm enough to explain his flushed state and the trembling, but when Andrew noticed Neil fiddling with the blanket over his lap, it dawned to him, what the problem might be.

“Bad dream?”, Andrew asked but Neil shook his head. Okay, good. An erection after a bad dream was the worst. When your body reacted to horror with signaling pleasure, you felt like you were going insane or broken. It felt like giving abusers what they wanted. Giving in to them.

“A good one?” Neil didn’t react and all the time didn’t even look in Andrew’s direction. Not being able to look Andrew in his eyes was normal on bad days, not being able to even look at his body was new.

“Let me guess… you aren’t allowed to touch yourself but the feeling won’t go away?” Andrew tried to sound as matter of factly as possible, but it was hard. He wanted to raise Riko from the dead only to kill him again. Neil’s shoulders only slumped further, his eyes trained carefully downwards, still fiddling with his blanket.

“I can help you with that, you know?”

For a split second, Neil’s whole body went rigid, but relaxed again immediately. Too relaxed.

“Okay… yeah… yes”, Neil said, his voice sounding empty now.

“Not like that, idiot”, Andrew growled but stopped when Neil flinched.

“I told you before that I wouldn’t do that. And you know I don’t want you saying ‘yes’ to that.”

“It will go away eventually”, Neil mumbled. “It doesn’t have to be of your concern. I… I will just go take a cold bath.”

But Neil would have done that on his own if he would have been able. Andrew wondered how long he sat there already, not being able to forget what he dreamed about and his body working against him. It could be hours…

Despite that, Andrew didn’t want him to smother his erection in icy water, like it was something he had to get rid of. Like it wasn’t normal, like it was something bad.

“You are allowed to make yourself feel good, Neil.”, he tried. “If you don’t feel comfortable touching yourself, we can find other ways. I would suggest finding someone you think is attractive; like a hookup, but I think this isn’t for you. And it won’t be a solution for the immediate situation.”

“If you want me to sleep with oth-”

“Neil!”

This was a really bad day. A really, really bad day. He wished he could ask Neil what was going on in his head, that triggered this, but he didn’t want to be intrusive and he wouldn’t get an answer anyway. Not a true one.

Andrew sighed and rolled his shoulders to calm down again. He wasn’t sure what to do, he had only one idea, but it wasn’t the best of solutions. He couldn’t find another, though, and he didn’t want Neil sitting here and not being able to do anything, because his body seemed to be overstimulated by whatever fantasy was going round in Neil’s head.

He turned around and went to his room to fetch something, then came back.

“I meant it, when I said, that I can help you. And I will do this as best as I can and I try to make this as comfortable for you as I can. Is the bed for sexual activity okay for you? I won’t touch you more than I have to, I promise and the bed will make it more comfortable for you. But I can get additional blankets and pillows and we can do this on the floor.”

Maybe he should explain what he wanted to do, but he couldn’t find the right words. He knew that Neil trusted him not to hurt him, they established as much in the last months. But this was a very bad day, and Andrew didn’t know how far the trust reached today. This was really fucked up. But Neil looked so miserable and ashamed and panicked, he wasn’t able to just get him a cold bath. This could ruin every progress they made so far, but he had to try.

“You can say stop whenever you want, you know that, right? I can help you to the bath instead if you want. But if it’s okay… I would like to try this with you.”

Neil was silent for a very long moment. Something that Andrew counted as a win, because he really seemed to think about it.

“The bed is okay”, he finally said. Andrew nodded and they rearranged everything so Andrew was able to sit behind Neil. A pillow between his chest and Neil’s back made sure they didn’t really touch. The only body part Andrew touched was Neil’s right hand.

He poured some of the lotion he had brought with him in Neil’s palm.

“This makes it easier”, he explained. “And more comfortable.”

Neil just nodded, all his muscles carefully relaxed.

“You are allowed to do this on your own, if you want. You don’t have to, but no one in this house cares. But for now I am here to do this with you.”

He helped Neil warm up the liquid and then carefully guided Neil’s hand under his blanket, closing his finger around a very hard and slightly pulsing cock. Andrew swallowed and tried to concentrate on not touching Neil himself. Just guiding his hand.

“You can think about the nice dream you had, or talk to me, or not doing anything at all. Whatever works for you. You also can say no anytime or take over control”

Neil nodded, but kept quiet. It was harder than anticipated to move another's hand, but they managed. Neil’s breath quickened slightly with time and there was a tiny bit of support from Neil to the movements. He seemed to really relax with time, which calmed Andrew’s nerves immensely. It was hard to not touch Neil more. The urge was clearly there. Andrew’s own cock quickly strained against his pants, but he wouldn’t act on it. This was for Neil, and for Neil alone. Showing him that taking control over his pleasure wasn’t something forbidden.

After a couple of minutes Neil’s head came to rest against Andrew’s shoulder. Because of the pillow it was a very odd angle, but his eyes were closed and his features seemed relaxed, so Andrew didn’t say anything.

Andrew tried to speed everything up a bit, but Neil’s hand worked against him. Maybe an unconscious move, but very clear nevertheless. So he kept a slow pace.

“Can we…”, Neil breathed, but stopped immediately when he caught himself nearly voicing something he wanted.

“Anything, Neil. Should I stop? Is it too much?”

“No.” Neil’s breath hitched slightly and his cock twitched excitedly on account of the spoken wish. Good. This was progress. “It’s nice.”

Something in Andrew’s chest unclenched and then bloomed nice and warm. The amount of trust Neil was able to give him was breathtaking.

“Then what do you want? Tell me, Neil.”

It took a few minutes again until Neil spoke up and Andrew wasn’t sure how he still could bear this slow pace of their hands.

“Could we… maybe… could we remove the pillow? Can I…. can I lean against you?”

That was… unexpected. But he had promised Neil anything, so he would comply, if Neil really was good with that.

“My body isn’t unaffected by this. If you are okay with feeling my erection, we can remove the pillow and you can lean against me.”

A full body shudder ran through Neil and it wasn’t clear if it was a good shudder or a bad one. Finally Neil nodded so Andrew threw the pillow lower on the bed and allowed Neil to settle against him. Neil sighed happily, closed his eyes again and leaned his cheek on Andrew’s shoulder. He could feel his breath against the skin of his neck and he had to suppress a shudder of his own. Shit, this got a lot harder… literally.

“I dreamed of you”, Neil whispered. “Not… not exactly you… because in my dream you demanded instead of asked… I… I know you would never do that…”

Neil’s breath stuttered and their hands lost their rhythm. Idiot, feeling sorry for dreaming… unbelievable.

“It’s okay. It was a dream and in that dream you liked it. Nothing to be ashamed of. I know you wouldn’t like that in reality. Our fantasies don’t have to be realistic or something we want in reality. And I know that you know that I can be demanding. Even if not, it is okay to fantasize about it that way.”

His words seemed to sooth Neil enough and they found their rhythm again shortly after.

“You crowded me against the kitchen aisle, after I told Kevin off and everyone else suddenly was gone. You kissed my neck and shoved my hands under your top.”

Neil’s breath hitched again. “We kissed.” Neil shuddered and Andrew just let him talk. He could think about the implications later, this was not the time. “Your skin was hot and I could feel your muscles. And then you allowed me to get on my knees and taste you.”

Neil’s hand sped up and took more control. Andrew’s hand now just followed the movements.

“You told me not to touch myself, because you wanted to do it yourself afterward.” Neil moaned softly and it sent jolts of pleasure down Andrew’s spine.

“You let me work for it, but… but in a good way? Just… just sweet agony. I was never that hard before. I never… wanted…”

Neil’s hand stopped like he didn’t want to throw himself over the edge just yet, took a few deep breaths before continuing to stroke himself, whimpering because of the self inflicted slowness, teasing himself.

“After I got you off, we went to your room, and you pressed me on your bed. And then… then… the things you did to my body… with… with your mouth and tongue and…”

A few hard tugs and Neil came with a deep moan while lying totally still.

Andrew had to take a minute to process what he had heard and what had happened, while Neil flew high on the bliss of his orgasm.

So maybe his body and brain had told him that he had to wait. The pictures of the dream fresh in his mind Neil couldn’t do anything other than do what the master in his dreams had told him. Wait and endure. Something that could be really fun in the act, but was clearly horrible when nothing was going to happen. No wonder Neil sat in this state for so long just trembling under the pressure of his own lust.

Maybe that was the reason Neil had trusted Andrew with this in the first place. They had to figure out how deep this desire went and where it came from. It was not unheard of that people fell for the first person who treated them not like total shit. Or it was a trained thing. Who knew these days?

They had to be careful with this.

Andrew gave Neil a moment before he stood up, grabbed a towel and cleaned the other man up. Said man reached for Andrew but stopped mid motion.

“I can help you with that.”

Andrew huffed in amusement hearing his words thrown back at him but as tempting as it was, it didn’t feel right. So he shook his head.

“No, Neil. You did great today, I am really proud of you. But no. Just go and take a hot bath and then come eat something.”

Neil looked a mixture of relieved and disappointed, but it was enough to strengthen Andrew’s belief that it wouldn’t be right to do this.

He waited until Neil nodded and then went to his own room to take care of these new, very confusing and complicated feelings.

**Author's Note:**

> I live off of comments and kudos so please don't hold back <3


End file.
